On a normal Sunday, Blaine and I drop the boys off in their classrooms (on time) and then go upstairs with the students for small groups. After that, I head downstairs to the choir room to put on my fancy blue robe and practice our song before the service starts. Then we all go up to the sanctuary and help lead the music for the service before the pastor preaches. It's really hard to explain, but both of these ministries give me a real joy and satisfaction, like I'm meant to be there, serving some meaningful and useful purpose .
I was late to church today because Blaine had to be there early to help with deacon duties, and I clearly have taken for granted how meaningful and useful Blaine's presence is in helping me with the kids on Sunday mornings. So I showed up about ten minutes late which meant I kind of rushed the boys' drop-off, which meant I left one child crying and didn't say bye to the other. I made it upstairs and got to listen to about three-fourths of my sister-in-law's really great lesson on Jonah before I was summoned back down to the nursery area because despite every effort of the wonderful nursery volunteers, Roman would not stop crying.
I looked at the clock on the way down and realized I only had about 10 minutes to try to calm him down so I could get to the choir room on time. I picked him up and took him out to the car to get his food, hoping maybe that would distract him and help him settle so he would let me leave. But as soon as we walked back in the building, he started up again. I took him to an empty room and sat down with him in a rocker. Even as I was sitting there, I was thinking, Come on. Calm down and get over this so I can get back to the music ministry and do my thing there.
And that’s when it hit me. Motherhood is a ministry too.
I had just talked with a friend about this earlier in the week, so I don’t know why it took so long to pop into my head, but as soon as I realized it, I sat there with that little child and just rocked him and loved on him. I think all he really wanted was my presence. I think all he was really crying for was the comfort and familiarity of Mom. And I was a little bit broken that all I really wanted was to throw some food at him so I could get back to the ministries that I thought were important. The noticeable ministries. The ministries that people appreciated and that I really enjoyed.
But sometimes ministry is about doing the things that no one notices or appreciates, that we don’t really enjoy, that feel like they require the biggest sacrifice.
So I didn’t make it to choir today, and I was only able to sit through a few songs during the service before I had to leave to take the boys home, but I was still able to offer worship to God while I comforted my child, and I was moved to give Him thanks for making me see the important, good, and necessary real life ministry that I have a chance to do every single day with these two little guys He has given me.