So I got a little panicky. I started googling jobs and searching for something I could do with my degree (a Masters in Human Services, so apparently not much). I got more and more nervous and anxious as I thought about bills and starting from scratch somewhere new. Then I threw a fit when the toilet got clogged up and the plunger wasn't working and water was going all over the bathroom floor. Blaine kindly stepped in and cleaned it all up as I went to the bedroom to cry a little.
And as I let myself cry a little, something flickered in my brain and reminded me of what I had just read that very same morning:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you - you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
But I was reminded, and then I was humbled, and then I was thankful.
I don't know what is coming down the road for me or my family, but I know that I have no need to worry or trust in my own devices or my own wisdom. I have a Heavenly Father who values me more than the birds and the flowers that He also lovingly takes care of, so why would He not see to my needs? Who knows what that will look like, and who knows if it will be anything like what I have planned for my life, but whatever happens, I can trust that it is good. That it is from a good God who loves me and is working every day to shape me into His likeness.
So today I will walk in obedience and trust. And tomorrow can worry about itself.